The work is meant to be a supplement for a role-playing game (Ars Magica for any like-minded gaming geeks out there) describing an area that exists in the game's setting. The author is using this job as a thinly disguised platform for introducing new rules to the game. Where, for example, he is supposed to be describing a place where several wizards are living together for mutual protection and benefit he instead spends a great deal of time on the special magical technique one of them has worked out and the spells that derive from it. He doesn't even give you a good enough picture of this wizard to understand why the wizard is pursuing this technique.
So I've got a better idea now of how to approach letting the author know how to make the work better: more description, less exposition.