Peter Hentges (jbru) wrote,
Peter Hentges
jbru

How weird is normal

I received today one of those whacks the universe sends out to remind you that your normal isn't really. I think we all get into a groove in our lives and begin to see that groove as normal. I'm not weird, after all, not particularly special. I bet this kind of thing happens to lots of people.

Then again, I bet few people consciously consider the idea of arriving home after a typical day's work to find their partner has died. (Mine hasn't, btw, and certainly I don't expect her to any time soon.) It's just not something that is part of their normal. But my sweetie has several chronic illnesses. So it certainly wouldn't surprise me to arrive home and find she'd succumb to one or more of them. I've got this whole mental list of people to call and arrangements to make.

Not to imply that I wouldn't be shocked and saddened. That I wouldn't mourn. It's more like I'd be doing those things again, I've thought of them often enough. They'd still hurt, but this mental preparation would allow me to actually do the things I needed to through the hurt.

I'm often a bit perturbed when people tell me they admire me for sticking with my sweetie through her degenerating health. We're not married, but I would have thought that "through sickness and health" would still mean something. I guess my normal doesn't have a person's physical condition as a primary factor in my relationship with them.

So I'm heading home early to make sure my sweetie is OK. She had a fall but says she's OK. Our friend, a massage therapist, is heading over to work on her and she has many resources and skills of her own to help ease her pain. I'm mostly for moral support, but she'll feel better knowing I'm around to handle little things like letting the dog out and answering the phone.

That's my world...my normal.
Tags: ericka
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