If anyone needs such help, I'm happy to pass on David's contact information. He's worth every penny he charges (which isn't too much, but I don't know his rates off the top of my head). He has some of the best hands in the business.
Today, I get to go off and get evaluated by a Nurse Practitioner to make sure I'm OK to return to work. My HR rep wants me to fax such professional reassurance to her before I show up tonight and also wants to meet with me on Tuesday morning. Honestly, I've never seen such weird policy any place I've worked before, but I'll jump through their hoops if I need to. I'll also let them know I'm looking for other work because this third shift just isn't working for me.