January 8th, 2005
|01:33 am - The unchanging sameness of the days|
I wonder, sometimes, if I'm in too much of a rut. If the routines that I follow daily are limiting me more than I'd like. Here's a typical example:
Get home from work sometime around 8:00 a.m.
Have some breakfast, typically a bowl of Cheerios, some juice and a banana. Take my vitamins and medication.
Feed the cat.
Go to bed and sleep until about 4:00 p.m.
Have dinner/a snack, the default answer to "what should I eat?" is two peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches.
Make something for Ericka to eat. If she's having something interesting, I might make enough of this for two rather than having the PB&J.
Feed the dog and let her out and back in.
Watch The Daily Show.
Catch a quick nap, starting sometime between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m.
Get ready for work starting at 9:00 p.m., including getting drugs for Ericka and making sure she's set up for the evening.
Work from 10:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.
Day in and day out. Often the whole sleeping from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. doesn't quite work out, leading to the nap being deeper and longer. Weekends and my Wednesday nights off are then filled with catching up on sleep to the point that I accomplish little else.
So the days drag on. More work, more sleep. I think these short, dreary days of January are the worst, but even in the summer, I found things like keeping up on my gardens to be terribly difficult to fit in. Never mind things like looking for a new job or starting up some writing.
I haven't been reading my Barbara Sher book of late, I think because I've internalized a recognition that I'm stuck at the "clearing the decks" stage. I don't have the time and space for a new project, a fabulous thing that I will have fun doing.
I'm beginning to wonder how I'll find that time when I can't even find time to do my laundry.
And so I remain in an inertial glide, fearful that the slow creep of entropy and external forces will eventually drag me down.
Current Mood: down