Peter Hentges (jbru) wrote,
Peter Hentges

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Lacking of cluefulness

When I arrived at work last night, some kind of hockey practice was in full swing at the arena next door. The parking lot was filled with SUVs, pick-up trucks, mini-vans and other transports of the hockey tribe. This is the lot that's closest to the door I use to enter my company's building. It's public and free, so I park there all the time.

It must have been some kind of special thing going on because there were more vehicles than usual. I did find a space, though.

Problem was, the earth-killing, terrorist-supporting, small-penis-compensating vehicle in the next spot down was parked so that it overlapped the spot where I was going to park. Fortunately, I was able to fit my tiny little Saturn in the remaining spot, squarely in front of the car in the spot facing me and well within the faint, painted lines of the parking space. The poor fellow next to me was going to have some difficulty getting into his blood-for-oil-mobile, to be sure, but he had the passenger side open (right, as if he would have a passenger in that tank), thanks to being crowded over into the spot I was occupying, even though his driver's door was blocked.

So when I got out of work this morning, I was unsurprised to find a note on my windshield. The content was amusing, though.

It's a photo-copied flyer half the size of a letter size piece of paper. The main illustration is a smiling Mickey Mouse, flipping the viewer the bird. Above Mickey's head are the words, in all caps, "Thanks for parking so close" and Mickey has a dialog balloon saying, again in all caps, "you pecker head." Those last words are underlined. Below Mickey's feet is the admonishment, "Next time - leave a fucking can opener so I can get my car out." It finishes off with, "Assholes like you should take the bus!"

Now, I'll freely admit I took joy in making it hard for this guy to get into his truck. I was, however, completely within the bounds of a parking space, while he had crowded into a neighboring space.

What I find utterly amusing, however, is that this sort of thing happens to this guy often enough that he has photocopied this flyer and has a supply on hand. You might think that if he got blocked in that often, he might twig to the fact that it is his own parking habits that are to blame.

On an unrelated note, I used to have a sticker that was bright yellow and read, "This parking space is reserved for the physically handicapped and jackasses. Which are you?" with an attractive picture of a donkey. (Yeah, a sticker, with glue that was advertised as being particularly hard to remove. The folks marketing them, Mouth magazine, a disability advocacy paper, suggest sticking them to windshields where people were sure to get the message.) I carried it in my wallet for about two years. I was giddy the day I finally got to use it.

(Another thought occurred to me just now. Perhaps he was recycling a flyer he'd been issued.)

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