January 8th, 2005

self portrait

The unchanging sameness of the days

I wonder, sometimes, if I'm in too much of a rut. If the routines that I follow daily are limiting me more than I'd like. Here's a typical example:

Get home from work sometime around 8:00 a.m.
Have some breakfast, typically a bowl of Cheerios, some juice and a banana. Take my vitamins and medication.
Feed the cat.
Go to bed and sleep until about 4:00 p.m.
Have dinner/a snack, the default answer to "what should I eat?" is two peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches.
Make something for Ericka to eat. If she's having something interesting, I might make enough of this for two rather than having the PB&J.
Feed the dog and let her out and back in.
Watch The Daily Show.
Catch a quick nap, starting sometime between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m.
Get ready for work starting at 9:00 p.m., including getting drugs for Ericka and making sure she's set up for the evening.
Work from 10:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.

Day in and day out. Often the whole sleeping from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. doesn't quite work out, leading to the nap being deeper and longer. Weekends and my Wednesday nights off are then filled with catching up on sleep to the point that I accomplish little else.

So the days drag on. More work, more sleep. I think these short, dreary days of January are the worst, but even in the summer, I found things like keeping up on my gardens to be terribly difficult to fit in. Never mind things like looking for a new job or starting up some writing.

I haven't been reading my Barbara Sher book of late, I think because I've internalized a recognition that I'm stuck at the "clearing the decks" stage. I don't have the time and space for a new project, a fabulous thing that I will have fun doing.

I'm beginning to wonder how I'll find that time when I can't even find time to do my laundry.

And so I remain in an inertial glide, fearful that the slow creep of entropy and external forces will eventually drag me down.
  • Current Mood
    scared down
self portrait

2004 in review

Concatenate the first sentence of the first post to your journal in each month of 2004. This, in some strange way, is a review of the past year. There is safety in the herd.

2004 got off to a smooth start for me. Just woke from a post-dinner nap. I did many of the things I planned for the weekend. I thought that tonight was the night that I was go take the guys from our India team out to dinner on one of their last nights here. We have been swamped at work all week. Working a job tonight that is flabbergasting in its ugliness. Oddly, it seems that whenever we have one of these "peak" weeks/months, I get more bored at work than I do otherwise. In a series of bizarre events, the helpers who work for Ericka and who also are able to drive are all no longer working for her. Not much to do at work tonight. Just had a look at http://www.electoral-vote.com; the latest polls have Kerry leading by 298 electoral votes to 231. I ended up staying home from work last night and did get in some much-needed sleep.
  • Current Mood
    silly meme-tastic